Basic Bitch Yeast Bread: Easy Enough to Haunt Your Kitchen on Repeat
Sometimes, you just want to make bread without feeling like you’ve been drafted into a season of The Great British Bake Off. Enter this no-fuss yeast bread: basic enough for beginners but satisfying enough to make you feel like you’ve actually accomplished something (other than doomscrolling). It’s soft, fluffy, and practically screams, “Yes, I can bake, thank you very much!” Plus, it’s versatile. Need a loaf for soup dunking? Sandwiching? Toast-slathering? This bread’s got your back.
So grab your yeast, summon your inner carbo-queen, and let’s turn your kitchen into a bread-making séance. If you don’t already feel like a culinary witch commanding the elements, wait until the smell of fresh bread fills the air. Just don’t let anyone know how easy it was–keep that secret buried.
Ingredients
1/4 cup lukewarm water (60 g)
2 1/4 tsp instant yeast (1 packet or 9 g)
1 tsp sugar (5 g)
1 1/4 cups lukewarm water (300 g)
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour (455 g)
1 1/2 tsp salt (9 g)
Instructions
Bloom the Yeast
Mix 1/4 cup lukewarm water with sugar. Add yeast and let sit for 5 minutes until foamy. No foam? Replace your yeast—it’s as dead as disco.
Mix + First Rise
2. Incorporate yeast mix with remaining ingredients (I usually do this in the stand mixer, and just remove the whole bowl to let it sit somewhere warm). It’s ready to sit once it slightly springs back after poking. Cover and let rise 1-2 hours until doubled. Warm spots speed it up, but don’t cook it in a sauna.
Shape + Second Rise
3. Grease a bread pan. Shape dough with damp fingers, plop it in, and smooth the top. Cover and let rise 30-60 minutes, just cresting the pan’s edge.
Bake
4. Preheat oven to 425°F. Bake on the second-lowest rack:
15 mins at 425°F
15-20 mins at 375°F
Cool for at least 15 mins (or longer if you can resist). Store at room temp for 3 days or freeze.
Boom. You just made bread that looks fancy but feels like cheating. Enjoy!